Pyrrhon's Out of Luck
by Smart-Person-18
Summary: Pyrrhon and Pit go to Earth to find one of Hades apprentice, but find a trio of unlikely heroes instead. Luckily, this isn't a crack-fic, yet. Read to find out the rest! Rated T to be safe. Dark Pit's in it too! R&R! OC's intended to make the story entertaining. Co-written by Iubrie. Please read the update as soon as it is posted.
1. The Unexpected Stalkers

**Pyrrhon's Out of Luck**

Chapter 1: The Unexpected Stalkers

**Smart Person: AUTHOR'S NOTE MONTAUGE TIME!**

**Iubrie and Sakura-Chan: …What?**

**Smart Person: You're stupid waves have caught onto me… as usual.**

**Asteria: Aw, you know that's not true.**

**Smart Person: Yes it is.**

**Shion: Why is it that only three of us are in this story?**

**Valette: Because Smart Person's being a butt.**

**Squidly: No kidding there…**

**Smart Person: Can we get on with the disclaimer already?**

**Sakura-Chan: Sakura-Chan calls doing the disclaimer!**

**Iubrie: No! Iubrie does it!**

**Sakura-Chan: No!**

**Smart Person: Guys!**

**Iubrie and Sakura-Chan: WHAT?**

**Smart Person: I promised Shion she could.**

**Iubrie, Asteria, Valette, Squidly, and Sakura-Chan: WHAT?**

**Smart Person: Take it away, Shion!**

**Shion: Smart-Person-18 owns no personal characters and parts of the plot that are not her own. Most characters belong to Nintendo and some plot belongs to Nintendo as well! Names were changed to protect the innocent.**

**Valette: This is not over!**

"I'm bored!" the red-head cried while sitting in the gym playing her 3DS as usual.

"How can you be bored," her Asian friend replied, "You're sitting there playing _Kid Icarus: Uprising_ like there's no tomorrow."

The red-head and her brunette friend exchanged glances for a moment. They were both puzzled by her reaction.

"You never say stuff like that," the brunette replied.

The red-head gasped mellow-dramatically and replied, "Who are you and what have you done with Sakura?"

The trio laughed. For once in the past 10 minutes of study-hall, they actually had a real conversation. At first, the red-head, or Alice, was playing her 3DS and ignoring everyone around her. Sakura, the opposite of an Asian stereo-type, was drawing in her sketchbook like she does in every class. And the brunette, meaning Valarie, was busy reading _The Hunger Games_ so everybody would stop yelling at her to read the book.

"You know what would be weird?" Valarie asked, after the laughter died down.

"What?" Sakura replied.

"If the game was actually real," Valarie replied.

"What game?" Alice asked, nodding her head to the side.

"That game!" Valarie replied, pointing to Alice's 3DS.

"Ooh," Alice and Sakura replied simultaneously.

"But," Sakura replied, "It is…"

"What are you talking about?" Valarie, the voice of reason, questioned, "No it's not."

"Yes it is!" Sakura protested.

"Whatever…" Valarie mumbled and went back to her book.

The rest of study hall was spent with the trio minding their own business. They read, played 3DS, or drew. Then the bell rang and they walked out of the gym and to the cafeteria.

"I… hate… gym…" Alice replied annoyed that the only time she had to play her 3DS was during study-hall, which sucked for her.

"You can't hate every class that you can't play your 3DS in, Alice," Valarie said matter-o-fact-ly.

"But I like to!" Alice whined. Valarie had quickly turn to look over her shoulder, and then turned slowly back.

"What?" Sakura asked.

"I feel like," Valarie replied, "Someone's watching us."

"What?" Alice replied, "That's re-DQ-louse."

But, Valarie wasn't wrong. Little-miss-imperfect was right. There was someone watching our trio. More like more than one someone. Actually, there were two someone's. If that makes any sense.

In a nearby bush were our trio's stalkers, or Pit and Pyrrhon. Now, you see, Pit and Pyrrhon were sent to earth for a specific reason which will be stated later in the story-line (plus, I'm too lazy to tell you now).

"Remind me again why we are stalking these three girls?" Pit asked, innocently.

"That is an excellent question, Pit," Pyrrhon replied, "But, Pyrrhon does not have an answer. Ha, ha, ha. My bad."

"That's all you have to say? 'My bad.'" Pit replied, now annoyed.

"Forget about it," Pyrrhon said, reassuringly, "Pyrrhon's sure there is a logical explanation for all of this."

Just then the bush they were crouched in caught on fire (who would've thought, right?). They screamed and ran to the closest tree and hid behind that instead.

Now Valarie, Sakura, and Alice had noticed the burning bush. They didn't freak out, oddly enough.

"Really, Alice?" Valarie asked, calmly, "Really?"

"It wasn't me this time!" Alice protested.

"Sure it wasn't" Sakura said in disbelief.

"You don't believe me either?" Alice asked, annoyed.

"Alice," Valarie replied, "Not to be mean or anything, but you have matches autographed by Orlando Bloom."

"Nobody can hate on Orlando!" Alice cried, angrily.

"You forced him to sign them!" Sakura said.

"I did not!" Alice protested.

"You take him to a chair and taped an uncapped sharpie to his hand and forced him to sign them!" Valarie replied.

"Taped, shmaped. The details aren't important," Alice replied.

Valarie looked back quickly again, paranoid. She knew something was out there, but she didn't know what it was.

"Would you stop being paranoid?" Sakura said, annoyed.

"No!" Valarie cried.

"Guys," Alice interrupted.

"What?" Sakura replied.

"I wonder if you need a license to drive a car," Alice questioned.

Valarie and Sakura exchanged glances before Valarie replied, "LEGALLY? You do."

"So," Alice continued, "If you wanted to drive a car without a license, you could?"

"If you don't get caught, then yes," Sakura replied. The girls fell silent, until Valarie realized why Alice was asking about it.

"DANG IT ALICE!" Valarie cried, "I TOLD YOU TO STOP DRIVING THE NEIGHBOR'S CAR OFF A CLIFF!"

"It was an ACCIDENT!" Alice protested.

"No!" Sakura replied, obliviously, "You clearly said 'Watch me drive this guy's car off a cliff.'"

Alice spit, "Psh. Details, shmetails. It's not that important."

"They had to give you a restraining order to stay one hundred meters away from them!" Valarie cried, aggravated.

"I might have shredded that," Alice replied, innocently.

Valarie sighed and smacked her forehead, leaving a large red mark there. She looked back a third time, this time towards the tree that Pit and Pyrrhon were behind, which annoyed Alice and Sakura like nobody's business.

"There is no one watching us!" Alice half-said, half-screamed, "You're being paranoid."

"As usual," Sakura mumbled.

Valarie huffed, "Look. I know you guys don't believe me, but I swear someone watching us."

"Okay," Alice said in disbelief.

"Whatever you say," Sakura replied.

"I'll prove it to you," Valarie said determined.

She walked towards the tree that Pyrrhon and Pit are behind.

"What do we do now, genius," Pit hissed, annoyed.

"Don't worry," Pyrrhon replied, "Pyrrhon will get us out of this."

He had grabbed Pit and hid behind another nearby bush, just in the nick of time. Valarie had made it behind the tree where they were standing, only to find a small fire on the trunk and no other remains of anyone being there. Alice placed her hand over the fire, putting it out.

"We told you," Sakura said, happily.

"There's no one there," Alice replied.

"Yes there is!" Valarie cried, "I can feel it."

Just then the bell rang. That meant that the students either had to be in class or at lunch.

"Guys," Valarie said, calmly, "I don't want to go to lunch."

"Why not?" Sakura asked.

"Because our stalkers might be there," Valarie simply replied.

"Let me spell this out for you," Alice replied, "We. Don't. Have. Any. Stalkers."

Valarie huffs. Yet again, no one believes her over-reacting. Even though the last time she over-reacted, she was over-reacting for no reason. Everyone knew that the neighbor's cat wasn't dead; Alice and Sakura had taken him out for a walk and forgot that cats don't go for walks.

Long story short, the neighbors had to sue our trio for breaking and entering, cat burglary, and cat pain and suffering.

Pit and Pyrrhon had still been crouched down in the bush, which the trio had now walked right in front of.

"What do we do now?" Pit whispered.

"Pyrrhon has no clue!" Pyrrhon cried, rather loudly.

"Did you hear something?" Valarie asked.

Sakura and Alice shrugged. And now the bush that Pit and Pyrrhon were sitting in had caught on fire, not as ironic as someone would expect. The girls slowly turned towards the bush and shrugged, turning away. Then Pit and Pyrrhon had gone to the large painted rock in the front of the school. They stayed on the opposite side of the girls, who carried on their conversation.

"I noticed something," Sakura said.

"Which would be…?" Alice asked.

"The only person who looks different is –" Sakura's mouth was covered by Valarie's hand

"Shhh…" Valarie whispered, "We're not supposed to talk about that."

Pyrrhon started to laugh, but was stopped by Pit's hand being placed over his mouth.

"You know what," Valarie said, still paranoid about someone watching them, "Maybe we should head to lunch."

"That would be okay with me," Sakura said.

They walked towards the cafeteria, passing the rock. Alice saw something out of the corner of her eye and turned back to the rock. The rock was bare, except for the purple and gold paint for the Latin class. Pyrrhon and Pit had made their way to the pavilion in front of the cafeteria without being seen, luckily.

"They're coming over here," Pit whispered, concerned, "What do we do now?"

"Pyrrhon has an idea!" Pyrrhon said, not as loudly as before.

Pyrrhon and Pit made a mad dash towards the bleachers behind the school. Making it there before the girls saw them. Pyrrhon look back at the pavilion and watched the girls walk into the cafeteria.

"Come on!" Pit grabbed his arm and dragged him to the bleachers.

In the cafeteria, Valarie, Sakura, and Alice had seen their friends, Asteria, Shion, Valette, and Aria, acting oddly out of character. They seemed pretty out-of-sorts. They were lazily walking the cafeteria and mumbling things almost unheard.

"Uhm…" Valarie said, confused.

"What happened?" Sakura asked.

"DUUUUDE!" Asteria said, wobbling over to Valarie and Sakura, "This soda is A-MAH-ZAH!"

Valarie snatched the can from Asteria; it had no label and had a funny scent.

"It tastes A-MAH-ZAH!" Shion said, falling over in her chair.

"It called something with an 'A'," Aria replied, laughing uncontrollably.

"You mean something with an 'L'," Valette corrected her, with a death glare, like as if she was gonna punch her in the face for just standing in front of her.

"I know!" Alice said, "Alcohol!"

"WHAT?" Valarie said in disbelief.

"They've been on drugs?" Sakura asked.

Valarie slowly dropped her eyes towards the blank can in her hand, dropped the car, and ran out of the cafeteria. Sakura and Alice followed, calling her to come back. _Anywhere_, Valarie thought, _anywhere but there. If my parent's find out, they'll kill me and send me back home._

Valarie had stopped running to catch her breath, long enough for Sakura and Alice to catch up to her.

"What was that about?" Sakura asked.

"Does the words 'If you or your friends do anything stupid and we find out, you're coming back home!' ring a bell?" Valarie asked, annoyed.

"Oh," Alice replied, "But how'd they get the alcohol anyways?"

What they didn't know was that our favorite sun god had given it to them.

_**Flashback**_

_ Pyrrhon had been walking through the school continuing on the mission he and Pit were sent to do. He looked for any suspicious characters, wearing sunglasses and pushing them downwards to see the people in the hallways. The bell rang for lunch to start, which startled Pyrrhon and he fell flat on the ground. He heard Palutina's voice ringing in his head._

"_What's going on in there, Pyrrhon?"_

"_N-nothing, Lady Palutina," he stuttered._

"_Knowing Pyrrhon, something is happening down there," Viridi's voice was next._

"_Where's Pit, anyways," Palutina asked, "You better not have lost him again."_

"_Why do you think that I lost him?" he asked_

"_I'm fine, Lady Palutina," Pit voice now came in._

"_Told you," Pyrrhon said, annoyed._

"_Just, stick with the mission, okay Pyrrhon?" Palutina said._

"_Fine," Pyrrhon replied._

_He noticed 4 girls going towards the cafeteria, thinking that they were "suspicious characters" he pulls the blank can from his pocket that he filled with alcohol. He walked towards the girls who were talking about _The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword_._

"_Hi, girls," he said calmly, "Want a soda?"_

"_What kind of soda?" one asked._

"_Just take the soda," He replied, shoving it into her hand and walking away._

_He walked out of the building to find Pit standing by the door._

"_What are you doing?" Pit asked, "I think I found who we're looking for."_

_**End Flashback**_

Valarie, Alice, and Sakura had walked towards the bleachers by the track. Pit and Pyrrhon were standing there looking out towards the junior's parking lot.

Sakura was the first to see them, surprisingly, considering that she was the shortest and one of the most oblivious.

"Hey!" Sakura called out to them, "What'cha doing?"

Pit and Pyrrhon didn't respond, instead they ran down the bleachers and towards the school.

"Where are you going?" Alice replied.

Alice and Sakura went racing after them.

Valarie sighed, "I can't get a break, can I?"

The girls had chased down Pit and Pyrrhon, who hit a dead-end.

"Now what?" Pit asked.

Pyrrhon grabbed pit by the arm and flew to the top of the building.

The girls had finally caught up and watch the boys fly to the roof.

"Now what?" Valarie asked.

"Maybe we can do what they did!" Alice said, hopeful.

"Alice…" Valarie started, but it was too late.

Alice had grabbed Sakura and Valarie's arms and tried to fly up like they did, but wasn't able to after a few attempts. Alice sighed, about to give up, until she had floated into the air and landed on the roof.

"This is awkward," Valarie said, still shaking from their flight.

"Oh calm down, you big baby," Sakura said, "It wasn't that freaky."

Valarie was about to object when she noticed Pit and Pyrrhon starring at them in shock. Valarie got so nervous that, for the first time…

She fainted.

o_e'

"Valarie?"

"Is she okay?"

"She should be."

Valarie opened her eyes to see Pit, Pyrrhon, Alice, and Sakura standing around her. Surprisingly, Pit didn't have wings. He looked almost normal. Except Pyrrhon was still his flaming self, which wasn't new.

"Can I flip out now?" Valarie asked, getting on her feet.

"Yes," Sakura replied.

"You guys weren't kidding! I thought you were kidding! My parents are gonna kill me. They are gonna come after me with plastic spoons and stab me 37 times in the chest. I'm gonna die. This is madness! You all are—" Valarie rant was interrupted by Alice smacking her into the face.

"Is that normal?" Pit asked Sakura, confused.

"Yes," Sakura replied simply, standing as far away from Pyrrhon as she could. Pyrrhon's flames were spreading farther and farther from his body, luckily not putting anything on fire.

"So you are here why?" Alice asked Pit.

"Lady Palutina sent us down here," he said innocently.

"For what?" Sakura asked.

"Lady Palutina suspects that there is someone working for Hades down on earth and Pit suspected it to be one of you," Pyrrhon explained.

"Mostly the red-head," Pit added, "She seemed the most likely. And I heard you talking about him."

"We were talking about a game on her 3DS," Valarie said.

"Oh," Pit said, "That makes no sense."

Valarie, Alice, and Sakura face palmed.

"It's hard to explain," Valarie started, but was interrupted by Pyrrhon catching the roof of the school on fire.

**Smart Person: Duh, duh, DUH! I had to have that dramatic moment there. Anyways, everybody else left some I'm gonna finish the end author's note by myself. Ahem. First, Happy Birthday to the zaniest co-author ever (aka Iubrie). Check out her profile, it's pretty sweet. And sorry to my people who liked **_**MidNight Dreamers**_**. I am getting back to that I swear. I'm gonna start chapter 2 tomorrow and hopefully finish it by the end of this week or the middle of next week, so that's coming. Hopefully you liked the almost 2,000 word chapter and can't wait to hear reviews! Please don't flame our story, either. Some of us take those things seriously (meaning me). What can I say; I live with the queen of mellow-dramatic! Hope y'all liked the chapter. I'm gonna go watch Narwhals on YouTube. Stay well and don't forget to favorite the story if you liked it! **


	2. Roomies, Jack Daniels, and just Jack

Pyrrhon's Out of Luck

Chapter 2

**A/N-Woot! Iubire/Alice here [Smart-person spelled my name wrong last chapter. (_-|||) ] And I have a present for y'all! Chapter 2! :D Aren't you happy?**

**Everyone-…**

**Me-I ASKED YOU A QUESTION.**

**Pit-EEP! I-is she always like this?**

**Valerie-You get used to it.**

**Me-I guess I'll do the disclaimer.**

**Sakura-But Valerie said I could do it this chapter!  
Me-Too bad. I own nothing mentioned except for our OC's. Not Pyrrhon, or Pit, or anything else. Just our OC's. Enjoy the story.**

_Thoughts_

"Speech"

ALICE POV

I looked at the roof with mild concern. This wasn't the first time it had happened (long story but it involves a Ducati and large amounts of diet coke.) Valerie on the other hand was having a panic attack. I sighed and looked at the cause of our current headache. I sighed again and attempted to calm down my friend.

"Valerie. Valerie. VALERIE! Calm. Down. We. Are. Fine. First things first, however." I turned towards our two 'guests'.

"I believe introductions are in order? My names Alice. The brunette is Valerie and the Asian is Sakura. And you are…?"

"Oh! I am Pit! Servant of the goddess of light, Palutena!"

"I'm the sun god, Pyrrhon!" I held out my hand.

"Nice to meet you, Pyrrhon, Pit." Pyrrhon's hand wrapped around mine. He had a strong grip. Hmph.

"It's nice to meet you too Ali-OWWWWWW! THAT HURTS!" I have a strong grip too.

"That's for burning our school. And this is for freaking my friend out!" And with that I landed a solid blow to his stomach. Pyrrhon dropped, wheezing. Apparently those 3 years of martial arts didn't go to waste.

"Now put yourself out. I don't want people to be freaking out." Pyrrhon glared at me but he obliged. I was now staring at a 6'2" man with spiky red hair and bright green eyes. I gave a quick glance to the armor he was wearing (which looked roman-style, and had only covered up to his shoulders, with boots) and looked at his companion. A brunette with blue eyes, a laurel wreath in his hair, about 4'3 (about Sakura's height) dressed in a tunic and sandals. I quickly noticed the weapon hanging by his side. He wasn't really paying attention to it…

PIT POV

I looked at the 3 girls in front of me. The tall red-head worried me. She seemed….dangerous. Like a tiger about to pounce. I'm going to have to watch her. She and Pyrrhon were in the middle of an intense staring contest. Judging by her intense glare, I doubt Pyrrhon's going to win. I looked at the red-head's (Alice, I think?) friends. There was a tall girl with brunette hair tied in a ponytail, with pale skin, blue eyes, and glasses (Valerie? Maybe?). Next to her was a tiny girl, Asian, with long black hair, darker skin, and also with glasses (I'm guessing she's Sakura? I'm horrible with names…).

"Ummm….Hi? I'm Pit. Sorry about him…" I motioned to Pyrrhon, who had gotten into an argument with Alice about the efficiency of hand grenades. The blonde smiled and held out her hand.

"It's okay. I'm used to stuff like that. I'm Valerie." Her friend popped up beside her.

"I'm Sakura! Nice to meet you!" I shook Valerie's hand. I glanced back at Pyrrhon, only to find him and my blade gone.

PYRRHON POV

Alice led me down to an abandoned part of the field by her school.

"There. This should be far enough. Now, let's see if you're as tough as you say you are." Her hand was wrapped around Pit's first blade. Where did she get that?

"Hmmm? This? Oh, I took it from your friend. He wasn't paying too much attention to it. The weight is a little off, but I'll deal." She grinned. A chill ran up my spine. I suddenly got the feeling I had made a horrible, horrible decision. I shook it off. I had never backed down from a fight, and I wouldn't start now. Besides, she was just a teenager! How much damage could she do? A lot apparently. She was fast, and pretty strong. I'm going to have several bruises because of her. She laughed as she hit me again, this time landing a hit on my solar plexus.

"Is that all you got? You sure are weak for a sun god!" I growled at her. That was low, even for her. I quickly lit up, intending to put this little brat in her place. Most people, when they see someone light himself on fire, scream. Her? She laughed. She LAUGHED. There's something wrong with this girl.

"That's it! I got sick of holding back! So come on, flame-head. Hit me with your best shot!" This…this wasn't the same girl from a few minutes ago. This girl was dangerous, a legitimate threat. And she was armed. Wonderful. Something slammed into my chest and I felt a rib crack. I winced. I barely had time to dodge another one of her attacks. She was fast, and I hadn't even managed to score a single hit. She cackled and any doubt that she was innocent vanished. This girl HAD to be working for Hades. No human was this strong, this fast, without divine assistance. It was just impossible. Right? She slammed me against a tree, pinning me in place with the blade she stole from Pit. Were her eyes always gold? It was getting difficult to stay calm, with that demon girl so close. She grinned. _Oh God, I'm going to die aren't I? This hell-spawn is going to obliterate me! TT^TT_

VALERIE POV

I had a horrible feeling. Today has NOT been good, and Alice has a short temper. If she flipped…NO I refuse to think about what could be happening! Well, if her eyes are still light brown, we should be good. They only turn gold when she's furious, or in the middle of an intense fight. Why am I the only one worrying about this? Sakura is half-heartedly calling out for her, and Pit….well Pit's being Pit. Does no one remember she is ARMED? She has Pit's gun-blade thingy! Man, if something happened to Pyrrhon…

"Guys, we need to find Alice, NOW." Pit just shrugged.

"Pyrrhon is with her. She'll be fine."

"It's not Alice I'm worried about! SHE HAS YOUR WEAPON! Or did you forget that?" Sakura paled.

"We need to find her now!" We took off towards the abandoned section of our school's field. Sure enough, there they were, with Alice practically annihilating the poor sun god, who was trying to get some distance between them, to no avail.

"ALICE! CHILL! WE NEED TO GO BACK NOW!" She whipped around, eyes a burning gold. Crap.

_How am I going to fix this? Ummm…think Valerie think! *gasp* I'VE GOT IT!_

"Alice! If you don't calm down, I'll give all your Pepsi to Pit!"

"*gasp* You wouldn't DARE! VALERIE! You…wouldn't right?" And just like that, she was fine. I breathed a sigh of relief. It looks like she didn't do too much damage either, so that was a plus. Pyrrhon looked okay; he is a god, right? How much damage could a battle-crazed teenager do to a god?

"Alice, give Pit his gun-blade back."

"But Val….

"No buts. Give it back."

"Hmph. Fine. It was off balance anyway." I looked at Pyrrhon (who had put himself out, thank goodness). He was clutching his side.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. It takes more than a crazy teenager to hurt Pyrrhon!" He grinned.

"Hmph. You say crazy like it's a bad thing…" Alice pouted.

"Are you sure? I mean, your clutching your side…"

"I appreciate your concern but I'm _fine._"

"But-"  
"So what was with you?" He glared in Alice's direction. _Way to change the subject there buddy…_

"Hmm? What do ya mean?" Alice looked apathetic (big shocker).

"You! Back there! How did you do that? And why did your eyes change color?"

"Have you ever heard of adrenaline, Pyrrhon?"

"Don't change the subject-"

"I'm not. Now answer the question."

"I've heard of it…"

"Basically adrenaline is the body's chemical response to dangerous situations, like being attacked by bears or being crushed by your car. Adrenaline provides a quick, effective dose of energy, usually increasing speed and strength temporarily. However only certain situations will force the body to produce adrenaline. Mine is a little weird. My body produces large amounts of adrenaline whenever I get particularly angry, or when I'm fighting."

"And your eyes…?"

"Oh they do that whenever I get mad. I think it's pretty cool." Alice smiled. I facepalmed. How can she be so nonchalant to someone she just tried to kill? I'll never understand her. Pit decided to speak up.

"Ummm….It's been nice meeting you all, but me and Pyrrhon need to go back and talk to Lady Palutena. Bye!" Him and Pyrrhon ran off. I sighed. Today was not going well.

PIT POV

"So Pyrrhon, are you really okay?"

"No! I think she cracked one of my ribs! It hurts…"

"Do you think she's working for Hades?"

"I'm certain of it. You didn't see her back there. She was demonic! It was the first time I was actually scared!"

"What about that time when Hades-"

"DON'T BRING THAT UP! You KNOW I hate talking about that!"

"Oops. Sorry! So, should we report back to Lady Palutena?"

"Probably. We should get farther away though."

"Why?"  
"Because to everyone else, it looks like you're talking to yourself, and that's weird."

I sighed. It seems there's been a lot of that today. All I really wanted to do was relax in a hot spring. Who knew dealing with humans could be so exhausting?

"Pit? Pit? Can you hear me?"

"LADY PALUTENA!" Pyrrhon flinched.

"Do you have to be so loud? People can hear you!"

"Pyrrhon's right. You-

"HA! That's an oxymoron!"

"Viridi? What are you doing here?" I questioned.

"Oh ha ha. Very funny. Just don't forget I can burn your precious forest to the ground." Pyrrhon mumbled.

"You do and you'll be dead in minutes!"

"That sounds like a challenge…"

"No I didn't-

"CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Pit, I'll be back in a few minutes. Try not to die without me."

"DANG IT PYRRHON! GET BACK HERE! PHOSPHORA! Make sure that moron doesn't do anything stupid!" I looked up and saw a streak of lightning following a fiery blur in the sky. Lady Palutena sighed (seriously, everyone is sighing! Is it just one of those days or what?).

"Ummm….I'm sorry about Pyrrhon, Lady Palutena."

"It's okay Pit. And I know you're happy you can finally talk to me, but please try to control your volume next time?"

"Yes, Lady Palutena…"

"So, do you have any leads? We really need to find Hades' servant quickly before he or she can do too much damage."

"Actually, yeah. We think it's this girl, Alice. But she's always hanging around these two girls…"

"It's possible that one of them is using the other two as cover. I'll send Pittoo down so that each of you can trail one of them."

"Does that mean we should wait for Pyrrhon to come back?"

"We should, but you can trail the three of them at school while you wait. I get the feeling this is going to take a while…." I nodded and headed off to where I had last seen the girls.

DARK PIT POV

I quickly hid behind a building as the red-head exited the store. Out of the three of them, I just had to get the 'insane demon spawn' (as Pyrrhon so nicely put it). Well, it makes sense. Out of the three of us, I was the stealthiest, followed by Pit, with Pyrrhon in last (the man couldn't hide himself if his life depended on it, which it does, by the way). So I got to trail Alice, the most dangerous, Pit was following Valerie, while Pyrrhon stalked Sakura (who seemed pretty oblivious so he shouldn't screw up that badly). Turns out all three had part-time jobs. Alice worked in a book store, in a relatively quiet part of town. I think I only saw about 4 people enter. She sighed happily and headed in my direction, a thick book clutched in one hand as the other flipped through its pages. She didn't seem to be paying attention. That book must be really interesting. I saw the outlines of headphones and the bulge of what I assumed to be an MP3 in her jacket pocket. She quickly glanced up to see if the road ahead of her was clear. She still hadn't noticed me, which was good. Unfortunately she also didn't notice the black Cadillac speeding around the corner. I sprinted towards her and pushed her out of the way, just as the Cadillac sped through the spot she was standing in a few seconds earlier. Yeah, I know I blew my cover, but what was I supposed to do? Let her get run over? If anything could make Palutena mad, I'm sure that would. And she's scary when she's mad. Alice sat up, and looked around. Her eyes settled on her book, then me. She quickly snatched the novel up, and quickly leafed through it. She gave a breath of relief, probably because the book was unharmed. She turned back to me, blushing slightly.

"U-ummm thanks. For you know…saving me…" She nervously tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. This girl was supposed to be demonic? Pyrrhon must have been confused. That or the shock of almost being killed had gotten to her. She held out her hand.

"I'm Alice." I grabbed her hand.

"I'm Kuro." It was the only name I could think of at the time. I couldn't go by Dark Pit, since she had already met my brother/reflection, and there was no way in hell I was going by Pittoo. I think Pyrrhon had mentioned it to me, when he came back from Japan. I helped her up. She asked me if I wanted to talk on the way back to her house (since she insisted on treating me to dinner, for saving her life. I sure wasn't going to argue). We talked. Turns out she's nervous around strangers and when you get to know her, she's actually quite excitable and friendly. It sorta slipped that I was following her, and she laughed, saying she expected it. She told me about what happened with the sun god, and I laughed. It sounds like Pit and Pyrrhon just caught her at a bad time. She hadn't been able to sleep last night, and everyone at school was being jerks. But the idea of the 'bad-a**' sun god being taken down by an angry teenager was just hilarious. We made it her apartment building, and I noticed Pit and Pyrrhon hiding in a nearby bush. I facepalmed. They were just so obvious! I mean, really! At least attempt to hide yourself! Luckily Alice was too busy talking to me to notice (at least I hoped she didn't notice). We made it inside and I had to be introduced to Valerie and Sakura. The contrast between them was odd. Valerie was very pale and Sakura had dark-tannish skin. (Since she told me she was Asian. Maybe she's Cambodian..? Jeez, I sound racist. TT^TT) Alice plopped down on her couch and started playing her 3DS. Sakura told me it was her turn to make dinner, so she asked me what I wanted. Alice decided to speak up then.

"Aren't you going to ask our stalkers what they want?" I heard Pit and Pyrrhon fall from the window sill (did I forget to mention they live on the third floor?) She stuck her head out.

"You two okay?"

"Well actually-"

"That was rhetorical. I don't care." She slammed the window shut. I heard Pyrrhon storm up the stairs. This was going to be fun…

"Pyrrhon don't!"

"That bitch is gonna die!"

"LANGUAGE!" Valerie shouted. The door went up in flames as a very angry sun god stormed in. Poor Pit was just standing there looking awkward and uncomfortable. Pit, you have my sympathies.

"WHAT! THE! HELL? WHY DID YOU PUSH US OUT THE WINDOW?"  
"Technically I didn't push you. I surprised you and you fell. Two totally different things."

"I DON'T CARE!" Pyrrhon looked furious. Alice? Well she looked like she could care less. I got bored and decided to look around their apartment while Alice and Pyrrhon argued and Sakura cooked dinner (it smells like she's making curry. Yum!). They lived in a three-bedroom apartment with two bathrooms. It must have been difficult finding an apartment with the bath in the guest bedroom instead of the master. Two bedrooms were being used as bedrooms; one had two beds, the other one. The master bedroom was being used as an entertainment room, I guess. There was a piano in the back, next to a bass guitar, along with an acoustic. An odd looking flute thingy rested on top of the piano. One whole wall was covered with overflowing bookcases. One was dedicated solely to manga. On the other wall were shelves housing games of all sorts. I saw PC, Game-cube, Playstaion, DS, gameboy, and many others. The bookcase wall and the game wall were directly across from each other. Across from my wall (the one with the door) were the piano and the guitars. I noticed for the first time there was sheet music stacked in a neat pile in the corner. Someone here must be quite the musician. I looked behind me and gasped. The wall was covered in weapons, mostly katanas. They were beautiful. I opened one that had a beautiful black sheath with ornate purple butterflies. The blade was gorgeous, shining in the light. It was still very sharp, and it looked like someone had taken care of it, lovingly. It was probably Alice's. She certainly did love her weaponry. I was eyeing a nice looking broadsword when she walked in. I barely notice until she picked up the katana I had set by my side.

"You have good taste. I have to say your collection is very impressive." She blushed slightly and chuckled.

"Thank you, Kuro-kun. I adore these blades. Their like family." She stroked the sheath lovingly.

"I prefer bows though."

"Oh? Well that sucks. My friend took all my bows a few days ago to make any necessary repairs, replace the strings, and restock my arrows and such. It's a shame. They're amazing."

"I'm sure they are." She blushed again. She was actually kinda cute…

"So…ummmm…..Alice, can you play the piano?" I blurted out.

"Hm? Oh, Yeah. I'm not that good though…"

"Well….can you play? For me? Not that you have too or anything!" She blushed and giggled.

"Sure. How about Just Be Friends?"

"Umm…sure." She sat down and started playing. At first she messed up every now and then, but it was probably because she was nervous. Soon however, she was playing flawlessly. It was beautiful. I don't know how long I was standing there. I think Pyrrhon came in when she was playing Bad Apple from Touhou. He was clutching his chest (she probably re-cracked his rib). Alice still hadn't noticed him yet, which was good because if she did, there would be blood.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered furiously.

"I was curious."

"THAT'S IT!"

"No. I'm hungry and Valerie won't let us eat until everyone is here. I gotta admit she has nice taste in weaponry though." She stopped playing. _This is gonna be bad…._

SAKURA POV

_What is taking them so long? I'm hungry…._ Today wasn't what I would call 'good'. Everyone at school had just been generally annoying, I had been stalked on my way to and from work (oh Pyrhhon. You can never be a ninja), and I was STARVING! Valerie made it a rule that we can't eat without everyone (unless they took longer than five minutes, like me and Alice were going to wait longer than that!). What was taking those three so long? I heard muffled shouting then calmly watched as Pyrrhon crashed through the wall. I facepalmed.

"DANGIT ALICE! NO FIGHTING AT DINNER!" Valerie shouted. I saw Alice walk out through the hole in the wall and she pouted.

"Hmph. Fine. After dinner though, that twerp is dead."

"Twerp? But you're shorter than me!"

"By just a foot! Give me a year!" Alice yelled back. Pyrrhon stared at her for a moment, and then laughed.

"You're actually kinda adorable when you're mad."

"! S-SHUT UP! Let's just eat!" She sulked out. Huh. One point for Pyrrhon then. I felt arms wrap around me then.

"Thank you Miss Sakura!" I looked down into clear blue eyes.

"Umm you're welcome Pit." Valerie and Alice interrogated our 'guests' over dinner (Pit and Kuro were overjoyed. Pyrrhon just kept glaring at Alice the entire time.) Turns out they hadn't made sleeping plans. I suggested that they could sleep here.

"Hmmmm...I guess they could…" Valerie thought it over. Pyrrhon sighed and pulled out a bottle. Alice stared at it curiously.

"What's that?"

"Hmmm? This? You want a drink?" Alice nodded.

"You didn't answer her question." I noted.

"Oh. That's Jack Daniels!"

"You mean some of the strongest liquor in the states?"

"That's the one!" Valerie gawked at him.

"AND YOU GAVE IT TO A 15-YEAR OLD?" She shouted.

"Yeah. Why?"

"THAT'S ILLEGAL!"  
"It is?" She sighed.

"Pyrrhon, do you know the legal drinking age?"

"Psh. Of course! 14 right?"

"THAT'S GERMANY!"

"Oh. What's the drinking age for America?"  
"TWENTY ONE!"

"Oh. Oops." Pyrrhon snatched the (empty) bottle back.

"Wait….why is it empty?"

"I drank it all!" Everyone stared at her.

"Ummm….Alice? You DO know what that was right?" Pit asked.

"Yep! Water, right?"

"It was Jack Daniels…."

"Really? I always thought Jack would be stronger…."

"Wh-what ARE you? Even I can't drink an entire bottle! AND I'M A GOD!" Pyrrhon stuttered.

"I'M RUSSIAN." Everyone took a step away from her.

"Okay so about where you guys'll sleep…" Valerie quickly changed the subject.

"I guess Kuro can crash in Sakura and Alice's room and Pit can sleep in mine."

"What about me?" Pyrrhon asked.

"You? You can sleep on the couch." Alice dryly replied.

"What? Why?"

"Let's see…You stalked us at school, lit the roof on fire, stalked us to work, stalked us home, then you got pissed-"

"LANGUAGE!" Valerie shouted

"Right. You got mad when I scared you off the windowsill-"

"I wasn't scared! I was just freaked out!"

"Can I PLEASE stop being interrupted? Thank you! After that you BROKE THROUGH OUR WALL. You're sleeping on the couch." I sighed. Today had been a long day, I was exhausted, and I just wanted to sleep. I grabbed Kuro and Alice, the dragged them back to our bedroom. Me and Alice would share a bed, so Kuro had one all by himself. I collapsed on the bed and didn't even bother to get a blanket, and then fell asleep.

ALICE POV

I tried to fall asleep, but insomnia is a b*tch. I crawled out of bed, careful not to wake up Kuro or Sakura. I didn't really care how Val and Pit had managed to work the whole sleeping thing out so I passed their room without even pausing. Pyrrhon was out cold on the couch. I was tempted to get a Sharpie and draw on his face, but I decided against it. I went to go play the Wii. But….Our TV was gone. That could only mean one thing…I quickly ran toward the sound of muffled footsteps.

"JAAAAAAAAACK!" I tackled the black-haired blue-eyed thief.

"I missed you!"

"GAH! Alice? Wow, you've gotten big!" He let go of the TV to return my hug.

"So, you hungry Jack?"

"Starving!"  
"Okay I'll feed you….on one condition."

"What?"

"Give us our T.V back."

"B-but…"

"Dude, do you know how long it took us to earn enough money to buy a flat-screen TV?"

"Fine….I'll put it back…But only cause your gonna feed me."

**A/N Long chapter is long. No really, this has to be the LONGEST chapter I have EVER written! Not even my regular chapters get this much! :D Woot! Yeah! The cool thing about this story is that 99% of the OC's are based off the authors and our friends (with the exception of Jack. He's not real. :,c)**

**Pit-Wait….So your eyes really do turn gold? You and your friends are really like this?**

**Me-Yep!  
Pit-*shakes in fear***

**Sakura-Review please!**

**Smart Person: Wow… Cool Story Bro.**

**Iubrie: Thank you very much…**

**Smart Person: anyways I want to thank a couple people for being there when I needed it, Iubrie, Sakura, Valette, Asteria, Squidly, Shion, Gold Rose, and all of y'all that I didn't name, (you know who you are). You guys are there when I need you and I guess I didn't realize it, and I should have. And I promise that the next time I get all depressed and not tell you, I will. Tell you. You know. If that makes any sense. Well. When you read this, you'll know what I mean. I got to go make a mother's day video for my mama. Review but don't flame, we take it personally. And no death threat or anything, but if you do flame, I will allow Alice to come after you with a plastic spoon and stab you 37 times in the neck, or until you bleed, it depends on how personal it gets. LOLZ. I'm kidding. You know I wouldn't let that happen, or would it? :-L**


	3. The Momentary Pause Explanation

**Smart Person: Hello my faithful fans of Pyrrhon's out of Luck, Smart Person here. Your other favorite author's could not be here for the moment but I wanted to leave this quick note so you faithful fans would know why we didn't update in a while. I couldn't get to the computer at all this summer and I am literally writing the next chapter now. I will try to get it done today, and if not, by Friday I hope to have the next chapter up. And if I don't I'm sorry and I really appreciate the patience and I will have the next chapter up as soon as I can. Now I have to go tell Jeremy to put away the sacrificial candles and NOT to sacrifice my family to Satan. I'll see ya'll later.**


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